Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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