Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
