this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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