I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
