i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
