get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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