I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
