i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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