Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
