This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
