I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
