new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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