There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
