We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
