Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
