just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
