was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
