my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
