Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
