i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
