i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Randomize
