yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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