I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We have started to decorate penises.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
