I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
