I'm laying in your front yard are you home
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
