Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we're so committed to being not committed
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