i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
