i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
