4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
