don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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