And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
