Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
