Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
