He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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