too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
