Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
