He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I smell like Dick and happiness
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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