The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
