Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i will never coherently bang her
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
