This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
