Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
