Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
