i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
