When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
