We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
