Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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