I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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