the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
