Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize