I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
